I was talking to my intern Alex – who helps out with some of my private clients – about the fact how WRONGLY guys approach women.
Specifically, how men rush to explain themselves when opening.
So…
One of the most notorious openers is:
“Excuse me I saw you and thought you look cute”
It’s fine to keep it in your back pocket and use it when you have nothing else to say.
Guys however like taking it and adding something extra like:
“Excuse me I saw you and thought you look cute I wanted to come meet you”
“Excuse me I really like the way you’re dressed today and wanted to meet you”
“Hey excuse me what’s up?” She replies something and then he says, “I had to come meet you”
I really don’t get why guys wanna explicitly call out the fact…
That they’re there to hit on the girl.
Like, bro, she knows 😂😂😂
I feel this is because approaching can be a bit unnatural and uncomfortable.
So guys think that calling out the fact they’re doing an approach will make the girl more open and “accepting” of them.
The truth?
It WON’T.
Subconsciously this shows you’re looking for her approval.
For her to give you the OK.
It’s absurd.
You’re gonna let a girl determine if you can act like the man you wanna be?
Nah, man.
Anyways, back to the openers:
I’m not saying you can’t use them but you gotta keep them a bit more concise and own them… WITHOUT explaining yourself.
So here’s how I’d tweak them:
“Excuse me I saw you and thought you look cute I wanted to come meet you”
=> “Excuse me I saw you and had to meet you”
OR
=> “Excuse me I saw you and thought you look cute”
“Excuse me I really like the way you’re dressed today and wanted to meet you”
=> “Excuse me that all-black outfit rocks, what’s your name?”
Notice how it’s always a maximum of 2 ideas per sentence.
Ideally you wanna keep it to just one idea.
But two is also fine.
Anything more than that is confusing and makes it seem like you’re explaining yourself when you have no reason to.
Last but not least, a bonus tip:
If you’re gonna compliment a woman, make it specific.
And not too explicit.
If she’s wearing yoga pants don’t say you like her yoga pants.
Or her crop top.
Say you dig her “effortless sporty look” instead.
Okay, enough for today.
Tomorrow I might or might not tell you how to make women approach you 🤪
– Christian
