Got a question from Teddy Brown over the weekend that I didn’t see in time to feature on the AMA yesterday:
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“I’ve experienced a lot of rejection over the last year on first dates which don’t lead to second dates and I realize now it’s partly because I never manned up and escalated the dates into something romantic.
I foolishly thought I was doing the right thing by being “a gentleman” and not trying to get physical with women on first dates.
The challenge is that I’m not sure how to be flirtatious without coming across as a creep. I know you can do this effortlessly with lots of witty comments and innuendos but I don’t have any experience with this.”
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Hey Teddy,
The fact you’re worried about coming across as a creep means you’re not a creep.
So don’t think about it this way.
Also, the only way to get experience is by doing things.
You’ve been on enough dates over the last year to know that NOT doing things is worse than doing things (tell me when I’m telling lies).
Better to try to do what you see me do once you’re on the date.
From now on any time you hesitate to show your intentions…
Just remember how your behavior so far has led you nowhere.
And another thing:
I feel like you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed.
I want you to flip the dynamic and instead of trying to succeed, to just be present and approach it in a way where you try to determine if you like the girl.
Like do you GENUINELY vibe with her?
One of the things that can make you look desperate or creepy…
Is when you put a lot of emphasis on a successful outcome.
So you gotta not care a little bit.
And I don’t know how many girls you’re talking to right now…
But the more women you talk to will make you care LESS and will help you have a relaxed attitude where you’re not afraid of making your intentions clear.
I see you don’t wanna be too overt about it.
Which is fine.
It’s “gentlemanly” and there’s nothing bad about it.
But as you see when you try too hard to not be overt it doesn’t get you more dates.
So what I want you to do is be covert (in a smart way).
At the link below you’ll find a collection of covert phrases I have that make your intentions clear…
Without running the risk of making you look desperate, needy, or creepy:
How to flirt without being creepy (flirt like a gentleman)
Rock and Roll,
Christian
