Hey man,
It’s time for edition of Ask Christian Anything.
As a reminder…
If you’ve got a question, just reply to this email and ask away!
Make sure to give me some context so I can help you as much as I can.
As usual, we have some interesting stuff to cover.
So make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and take your time for today’s agenda:
Let’s get cracking with #1:
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What to do if the girl is more of an introverted person and very shy
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Very simple:
You don’t do anything differently.
If she’s introverted and shy, then it means she probably gives you less obvious signs of interest.
But if you make an advance and she doesn’t object, for example…
Then it means she most likely likes you.
Cause she’s receptive.
Just like any girl that likes you is.
The only introvert- and shy-specific thing worth highlighting is that these kinds of girls usually take more time to “crack.”
You gotta be a bit more persistent.
And patient.
Also try to be extra aware of how she responds to you escalating.
She might prefer taking things slow.
Which is fine.
Just keep at it if you like her.
Onto question #2:
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Hi Christian,
A question to kick off the New Year.
What are the best, yet subtle romance acts which really get into a girl’s head and make her chase for more?
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Hey man,
Really cool to see you ask a question this year, too.
And to answer it, in a nutshell, what I like is just doing acts and gestures that would categorize you as a gentleman in her eyes.
Such as…
Opening every door (including your car’s when she steps in and steps out).
Paying the bill.
Taking off and putting on her coat.
Pouring the drink in her glass first before you fill yours.
Surprising her with flowers without a special occasion (less and less guys do it nowadays).
And so on.
Hope that helps!
Now time for the last one #3 and it’s a doozie (I edited certain parts for confidentiality and brevity):
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Is it wrong to like talking with your ex?
So, apparently she can not move on, and everytime I do not talk to her for a few days she becomes very sweet and spams me with messages.
She makes me feel good.
But the issue I noticed is that it makes me reluctant to get into serious relationships, or pursue other girls.
It makes me lazy, knowing she will always be contacting me, but I do not want to be in a relationship with her.
[Christian: here he delves into some details about their relationship that I decided it’s better to leave out for privacy purposes, but essentially it’s a non-negotiable for him and can’t see himself with her long-term.]
Should I just block her everywhere, even though I like the attention?
Even though I think this made me waste a year trying to get in a better relationship, this kind of interaction helps me get more emotionally stable.
I do not know what I should do with this.
I am not upset with her, I kinda want to thank her, but I understand she is suffering a lot and does not know how to help her and keeps me from finding better relationships.
Regards,
Sergiu
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Thank you for opening up, brother.
I think you should definitely drop all contact.
Not just because it’s “normal” to not talk with a girl you stopped dating…
But also because this is a dysfunctional dynamic:
She can’t move on and is still latching on to you.
And YOU can’t go for a better girl because your emotional needs are met and as you said it makes you lazy to actually put in some effort into your dating life.
I think you should just tell her it’ll be healthier for both of you to stop communicating.
I view it as a genuine respect thing.
You still want her to do well and be happy, but you see she isn’t able to because she’s yet to get over you.
Also when you drop all contact…
When the attention disappears…
It’ll motivate you to go find a better girl.
Alright, that’s it!
Until next time.
Rock and Roll,
Christian
